Marketing 101
(submitted by jen leo)
Subject: Marketing 101
Several friends have asked for an explanation of Marketing. Perhaps the following examples will help clear it up:
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.
You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.
You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.
You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.
You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.
Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.
You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Spam.
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Corrections - let’s be a little more accurate.
Somebody obviously doesn’t know what telemarketing is. Really! If a guy gives a women his phone number, he wants her to call. What telemarketers are they talking about?
And spam - you can’t just ignore spam. You have to delete each one (go answer the doorbell). And just try not to read the subject (someone is shouting).
And guess what, the woman saying “I’m fantastic in bed.”, is really a man, in drag (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and you have to pay.
If you can’t correctly describe a problem then you can’t fix it.
3. You see a handsome guy at a party. He doesn’t see you. You get his number from the phone book. The next day you call and say,”Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing. (AKA stalking by phone)
8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing. So you ring each doorbell and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Spam.